I turned 50 in 2009 and since then I have been groping, trying to get my groove back cause it seems that is what everyone does at 50, review their lives and decide what needs to be improved upon!
The truth is, for a while now, I have thought that somewhere along the line, I made a wrong turn off the highway and I haven't been able to find my way back.
I should have become a famous Marketing Communications Expert with a consultancy business that spans the world, beautiful homes and posh cars in one or two romantic cities. I should be a looker with a body to die for, and I should be a leader in church who knows all the scriptures that matter and lives an exemplary life that's sure to make heaven! I am NOT any of the above things.What happened? Is it too late?
It suddenly struck me that it is possible that I never had a groove at all. ONG! (Oh, Not Good) (we can start our own acronyms). So where do I begin?
I must start by taking myself apart and looking at each area that matters - My Physical, My Social and my Spiritual.
Physical : I have never really being a "hot chic" ( that's what we were called back in the day, dunno if that is an acceptable term anyway). But even the parts of me that were "hot" are beginning to go South, loose elasticity and hold to a little more than neccessary. My eyes do not cooperate as much as they used to and my strong lovely legs give way a little easily when my Pastor prays a little longer than they seemed to mutually agree! More than anything, this acquired friend - Ms Flash - knows no shame. She chooses to show up at the oddest time/place and before I know it, she starts her most embarrassing tricks that hit me right in the brain and causes me to break out even in the coolest of temperatures.
Social: In the car with my daughter to run some quick errands, I made a u-turn to pick up my phone that I forgot at the house. My daughter (you'll be hearing about her a lot) said "Mum, there's no point, nobody will call you before we get back anyway. As I gave her a mean look from the corner of my eyes, she further said "you wanna bet, who d'you call?" I answered and she echoed "my sister". And then of course, a few work related calls. Don't get it wrong folks, I know a lot of people from party-hopping with my extremely sociable and amiable husband and from church, but I realize that apart from my sister and my cruelly honest daughter, I seldom make any social calls. I love my TV (what would I do without E-news!) "Googling" and lavish Lagos parties!
Spiritual: Last Sunday the Pastor asked us to turn our bibles to the book of James. I thought about it but could not decide if James comes before or after Hebrews (James comes after Hebrews) so I decided to read from the church screen. As if the man of God could read my mind, he said "is everyone there yet? For those of you who don't know, James is...........". At that point, Ms Flash rushed in, I reached quickly for my hanky, ignored her and quickly went in search of the book of James. I was embarrassed because Ms Flash is never up to any good and I have not been as familiar with the good book as I should be given the length of my relationship with God.
Indeed, I have a lot to work on. My relationships with myself in the three areas above, have not been full. I start and stop too often. My carry through is weak. If I do not have a great relationship with myself, I cannot have one with others. So I am going to start a new journey - mine. A journey of pure, wholesome love of self that gives me great success. Is it too late? No, I know what I need to do. Why didn't I do it before? I was vain, lazy and somewhat silly. Now, I've got wisdom the Great One.
DooneyBanks
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